Jul 21Member-onlyFinding My Bearings NowA rambling, unfiltered diary about living with breast cancer Some facts: Today I am living with breast cancer. I have every reason to believe that one day I will be living after breast cancer. This diary will end when that part of my life begins. I don’t consider myself on…Breast Cancer2 min readBreast Cancer2 min read
Published inCrow’s Feet·Jan 19Member-onlyAvoiding InspirationContemplating my best friend’s death at mid-life in the context of daily life — It’s like I’m trying to prove something to myself at the beginning of every year. Or month. Or Monday. I can “get it together” to be the real me. But every fresh start stumbles on a flu bug, or something similar. I’m not going to call it self-sabotage. I’m not…Midlife4 min readMidlife4 min read
Published inCrow’s Feet·Nov 1, 2022Member-onlyA Celebration of the BanalContemplating Mortality. Maybe. — The dog woke me at a quarter to five. He’s supposed to do that. But it’s not like I always appreciate it. I let him out into the yard and start the coffee machine. I pour a cup of dog food into the maze dish for him to root around…Aging4 min readAging4 min read
Published inCrow’s Feet·Oct 23, 2022Member-onlyToday When I Rattle the BonesDealing with childhood trauma past midlife This past week I’ve been checking my watch and thinking: yes, but what time is it “really?” It’s not that I am still on Canary Island time. I don’t think I was ever there on this vacation — ever settled into a rhythm of…Mental Health3 min readMental Health3 min read
Published inCrow’s Feet·Aug 18, 2022Member-onlyMaking a Point, Or TwoTaking a closer look at an aging image — Sometimes I think how odd it is that my life is still measured in school years. How, for 9 months of the year, nearly everyone in the world is 17 years old. But I age. Before work yesterday, I sat in the chair at the physiotherapist’s office facing a mirror…Aging2 min readAging2 min read
Jun 22, 2022Member-onlyYou Can Fly, You Can Fly…Resetting after trama An hour has slipped by and my body is getting heavier. I have felt like sleeping these past few days. I am a soft kind of tired now. Leonard is lying just behind my chair now, on the cold floor instead of his usual spot on the…Poetry3 min readPoetry3 min read
Published inCrow’s Feet·Jun 21, 2022Member-onlyMilestones and RemindersAs my youngest gets married I’ve had an unwanted hiatus from writing. Growing is always difficult, and some things must lie fallow while other things bloom. That was “svulstig,” I know. But the metaphor does the job of conveying the truth. “Svulstig” means “grandiloquent” — but not exactly. Try saying…Middle Age3 min readMiddle Age3 min read
Published inCrow’s Feet·May 26, 2022Member-onlyAll Kinds of SomethingsWho are we when we leave virtual reality? — It’s a religious holiday here. I slept late and wasted the morning scrolling. I breathed through yoga but still haven’t run. And I had plans for the day. I hope this isn’t an indication of how the summer will pass. Haphazardly. Regretfully. I am already beginning to regret all the…Social Media3 min readSocial Media3 min read
Published inCrow’s Feet·May 13, 2022Member-onlyRipping Up an Imaginary MapBefore and After a Midlife Perfect Storm I have been through a serious illness as an adult. There was definitely a before and after in terms of my relationship with my body. During those first months home from the hospital I went to sleep every night fearing I wouldn’t wake…Midlife2 min readMidlife2 min read
Published inCrow’s Feet·May 3, 2022Member-onlyOn Tweaks and Wonky WidgetsMental health is not just a young person’s game — I finally tweaked my website into a shape that I really liked. Then a widget went wonky, and the support person told me my theme had been retired. No fixing the wonky widget. I needed to choose a new theme. I have a new boss at work. We have new…Mental Health Awareness4 min readMental Health Awareness4 min read
